I am sitting on one of my high kitchen chairs.
The snow is behind me, it’s bright reflection is lighting up my kitchen.
My injured knee, who will shall now call “Burt” is dangling off my chair as a mobility trick to gently gain more flexion in my joint.
“Burt?” You ask? Yes. I have named the cantaloupe that is my knee, Burt. ‘Cuz, Why not?
I am determined to be friends with him and coach him through this.
Today is the best morning I have had since the morning before the trampoline torture.
Mostly because of 2 reasons:
1. My total submission to my fear in regards this my injury, which was not graceful. Oh no. It consisted mostly of me slamming my hands down on my office desk and screaming at the top of my lungs while clenching my fists, “I DON’T WANT TO BE OFF THE FLOOR” to my dear friend and fellow Coach, Chele, multiple times, escalating in volume, each time.
What does that even mean?
Floor = Training Floor at my gym and here is the short, cliff notes meaning: Knee injury = having to adjust my time on the floor and switch gears a bit to support my knee.
Gina’s ego heard: I AM SO SICK OF THIS! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? I DON’T WANT TO NOT BE DOING WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING FOR YEARS. I DON’T WANT CHANGE. I BELONG OUT THERE. THIS IS WHAT I DO. WHY AM I BEING TOLD THIS. I AM BETTER THAN THIS! I CANT DO THIS< I CANT DO THAT! LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! YOU ARE SO SAD. YOU ARE SO SCARED. ! ARGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG!!!!!
Oh ego. You are so flamboyantly animated and so nimble.
But, I my ego friend, am a bit more sly than you. While you were furiously filling me with your sermon, I was screaming it all out, vocalizing it all, RELEASING it all. I went 100% vulnerable. I showed my weakness. I bared my mind. I just let it flow.
My tears were the sweat of my work.
The hug from my friend was the tissue.
Our conversation to follow was clarity.
I broke it down.
Now I build it up.
#2. The reallocation of focus has begun. I have coached many to it before. Focus on what you CAN do. Do what you CAN to support the moment you are within.
I can do pre-operative exercises.
I can eat anti-inflammatory foods.
I can drink a gallon a day of my Kangen water.
I can read, write, continue to learn.
I can inspire.
I can coach with an assistant or 2 or 3.
I can train my upper body.
I can ask for help.
But I can’t snowblow……but that’s okay 🙂
So go ahead, scream out what your afraid of, admit it, and then LET IT GO and like a laser sight on a Barrett M98B target right in on what you CAN do and do IT.